Here you will find the funniest happy birthday wishes. Check out this awesome collection of 100 funny birthday wishes and messages. Put a smile on your friends faces on the most important day of the year!

• Another year for your back means another year that won’t suck.

• Another year older, none the wiser.

• Another year, another new place that aches.

• I made you a birthday cake to celebrate, but I couldn’t light the candles. It turns out the fire department requires a permit for bonfires.

• At least you’re not as old as you will be next year! Happy Birthday!

• Better to be over the ground than under it. Happy Birthday!

• Better to be over the hill than buried under it.

• Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

• Birthdays are like boogers. The more you have the harder it is to breathe!

• Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.

• Can you snuff all these candles or should I call the fire department?

• In the bathroom? In the toilet? On your desk? The fireplace? At 40, it is still a great achievement, to remember where the car keys were last! All the best!

• 1066, 1492, 1776, and…your birthday? The good news is that they aren’t teaching the date of your birth in history classes yet. The bad news is that means I don’t have the date memorized. Happy belated birthday!

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• Cool Birthday Messages
• Is it getting hotter in here or is it just all the candles on your cake?
• It has been scientifically proven that too many birthdays will kill you.
• It is older but not better! Happy Birthday!
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• It must have been Napoleon in command since you were separated from your mother.
• It’s nice to be young, healthy and full of energy. Can you remember?!
• It's proven that at the age 41 you start to lose your memory. We can only hope!

• Happy Birthday Lyrics

• It’s ok to light the candles on your birthday cake now; I’ve already alerted the fire department.

• Jack Benny said, “Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” But in your case, I think it matters, it matters a LOT!

• Just imagine the things you’d want to hear on your birthday and assume I said them. Happy B-Day

• Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, ‘Happy Birthday’

• Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.

• Looking fifty is great – if you’re sixty.

• May you live as long as you want to, and want to as long as you live.

• May you live to be old and toothless.

• Top 10 Birthday Quotes

• Men age like wine, women age like cheese.
• My birthday gift to you is the call to the fire department when you blow out your candles. You’re welcome!
• My friend got me a fossil. It reminded me of someone who has a birthday today. Three guesses who!
• No wise man ever wished to be younger.
• Old enough to know better…Young enough to still do it.
• On your birthday some words of wisdom: Smile while you still have teeth! Congratulations!
• One more year of existence down the drain. Happy Birthday!
• People say that the good die young, so I guess that’s make you an old bad ass!
• Pope John XXIII thought that men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. And I’m sitting here, trying to figure out whether you want vanilla or strawberry in your ice-cream. Happy 50th Birthday!
• Recently I found out in which sport you would have been best at. Guess what? It’s the reason so many people came to your place.
• Remember when 50 seemed old? If you weren’t so old you would!
• Smile and laugh as much as you can while you still have teeth.

• Creative Ways to Say Happy Birthday

• Smile, it could be worse…think about what you’ll look like in ten years. Happy Birthday.
• So far, this is the oldest I have ever been.
• So many candles such a small cake. Next year, may your birthday wish be a bigger cake.
• So many candles… so little cake.
• Some say the glass is half empty. Others say the glass is half full. It’s your birthday, so just drink whatever is in the glass.
• Some words of wisdom for your birthday, “Smile while you still have teeth!”
• Someone once said that a true friend remembers your birthday, but not your age. I remember both. Shouldn’t that account for something?
• Stop counting the candles and start thinking about your wishes.
• The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.
• The first mark of ageing appears when you start forgetting things. In your case there are no such problems. You have transcended all the hassles.
• The older the fiddler, the sweeter the tune.
•  The only reason you hate your birthday is because people give you odd gifts, scary cards with weird messages in them, and because you’re getting older. Happy Birthday!

• The usefulness of life lies not in its length, but in its application. Some counts many years and yet has only lived a short time! All the best!
• The younger you try to look; the older you actually are.
• There are lots of good people in the world. One of them would like to wish you a happy birthday.
• There were a lot of famous people born on your birthday. Too bad you aren’t one.
• They say that with age comes wisdom. You must be one of the wisest.
• Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.

• Birthday Quotes

• Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician. True that!
• To the nation’s best kept secret; Your true age.
• Usually people at your age freak out when they hear their selves called an old man. Right …old man?
• We know that wisdom comes with age. You see, you don’t have all the signs of aging! Happy Birthday!
• We know we’re getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it.
• What goes up but never comes down? Your age.
• What? You don’t agree? That’s strange. You’re the perfect example.
• When I die, I want it to be on my 100th birthday, in my beach house on Maui and I want my husband to be so upset that he has to drop out of college.
• When I have a birthday I take the day off. But when my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off.
• When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
• Wishing you many more candles and a cake big enough to fit them all on.
• With age comes wisdom. (You’re one of the wisest people I know!)
• With age comes wisdom. You’re one of the wisest people I know.
• You age like cheese… You just keep getting smellier!
• You always have such fun birthdays; you should have one every year.

• Birthday Greeting Cards

• You are as old as you look.
• You are going to need the lungs of Hercules to blow all these candles by yourself.
• You are only as old as you act.
• You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.
• You get a lot of birthday wishes … But this is here for the love!
• You have reached the age where all compliments will be followed by “for your age.”
• You have to really be something special! Today, 3,276,821 people have birthday, but I was only thinking of you!
• You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
• You know you’re getting old when you walk up the stairs and call it exercise. Happy Birthday!
• You may not be over the hill yet, but you have a great view!

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Birthday wishes can be a quote,a poem or anything else that your near and dear one like most.Here some poem by which you can wish someone:

Birthday wishes for a best friend:

Happy Birthday to my very best friend,
Your special day has come by again.
We had so much fun last time around,
A younger sister was someone I found.Each year March 4th is a wonderful day,
As we march forth in our own fun way.
Just hanging around and laughing a lot,
It is truly amazing what we have got.

Birthday wishes

A friendship like ours is not easy to come by,
Often the intensity of it makes me so high.
Is our beautiful friendship really only a dream?
Sometimes it feels so unreal that I must scream.

Cries of joy and happiness galore,
And that is what I most adore.
Your infectious laughter and zest for life,
But I am there to keep you from strife.

Birthday wishes

How lucky we are to have found one another,
I couldn’t spend so much time with any other.
I will always be there to watch over you,
To keep you safe and happy too.

Well my dear I wish you Happy Birthdayonce more,
An abundance of good wishes for you are in store.
A new year filled with lots of happiness and laughter,
And only the very best for you from here on after
.

Birthday wishes

Birthday wishes for a friend to remember sweet memories:
going through our memories
that’s always what I do
coz that’s all you’ve left me
just memories of you

looking at your pictures
just makes me smile
coz looking at you
makes my life worthwhile.

Birthday wishes

in my dreams, I wish
that you’re always there
we’ll never be apart
we’ll be together forever.

Birthday wishes

but now I must accept
that now, you are gone
but in my heart
you’re still my only one

Birthday wishes may be an opportunity for each of them to realize how important each one is to the other’s life. They will miss each other, and long for the time when they can be together again.

Birthday wishes

1. On this special day I just want you to know that you are always remembered by me in a very special way. You are always in my prayers and I wish you all the best. Happy Birthday dear.
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2.You fill my heart with love, strength and beauty. May your life be filled with many more blessings. I love you dearly, sweetheart.

Birthday wishes image 2

3.Nothing just want to say that you are most precious gift to me. On our special day a lots of love to you sweetheart.

Birthday wishes image 3

4.Wishing you a day as special and wonderful you are. Wish everything will be best for you. Happy Birthday.

Birthday wishes image 4

5.I am very thankful to God that he send you to my life. Without you I am just completely incomplete. But together we are just amazing. Happy Birthday Dear.

Birthday wishes image 5

6.On your special day, I feel something different, because if you are not in my life then my life is just like nothing. You are the meaning of my life. You deserve the best of everything. Love you a lot. Happy Birthday.

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An alternate year has passed by, and now is the right time to praise the day that somebody near you was conceived on. Birthday festivals are loaded with joy and delight, filling the air with adoration and consideration. In this way, on the off chance that you have somebody who has a birthday heading up soon, let them realize that they are genuinely adored with these loving Love Birthday Wishes. Here some birthday wish for lover. 

Each time I look in your eyes, I feel that the expression ‘Made for one another’ was made only for you and me. My life is deficient without you. Happy Birthday!Happy Birthday wish

Your Birthday reminds me that you are the main individual I need to go through my existence with. Happy Birthday! 

Happy Birthday wish for lover

Two hearts together, one genuine romance for eternity. Happy Birthday my super unique kid!

Nothing on the planet can give me a chance to overlook you, so in what manner would I be able to overlook your Birthday. Let delight in the day on the ocean side viewing dusk together. Be sentimental and have a sentimental Birthday.

On your birthday sweetheart, on this extraordinary day for you, I guarantee to make it remarkable and adoring for you as well.

Happy Birthday wish for lover

Happy Birthday my dearest and sweetest, not a day passes by when I don’t consider you and how unfilled my life would be whether you were not here.

I adore you and I need you to know that I am so fortunate to have you! Happy birthday

Shut your eyes make a wish and trust for all great things to come to you. Happy Birthday.

Today is the day my absolute entirety was conceived. I am so happy to experience the festival of an alternate year of your delightful life. Happy Birthday, I adore you.

 

Happy Birthday wish for lover

Might your life flood with unqualified adoration, everlasting joy, unprecedented wellbeing, and sweet achievement. You merit the best of life on your birthday and dependably. I adore you.

Regardless of the measure of years that pass us by, my affection for you keeps on growing. Happy birthday to the adoration of my life, my closest companion, my love!

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Making your girlfriend’s birthday special can be challenging but if you organize it thoughtfully, you can emerge a winner! Girls love being pampered and if you do that well, half the battle is won. Chocolates, cakes and cards do the trick but when they are accompanied with a sweet message, they can make her go weak in the knees. Reading it out loud when you are with her is a sure way to see that smile on her face. Get inspired

1. Your birthday is as special for me as it is for you because I have the honor of spending it with you.
2. Someone up there loves you and someone down here cares for you. Have a Happy Birthday!
3. To have you in my life is a special gift; I hope we can treasure each other forever. Enjoy your day!
4. Your smile entices me, your warmth caresses me, you are the reason I see things positively. Happy Birthday!
5. I may be far from you, but every time I close my eyes, I see you standing right beside me.
6. I hope you enjoy your birthday.You may never know how much you mean to me unless we switch places and you stand where I do.
7. Happy birthday to you!Your birthday comes once a year and I want to make it special for you. I hope you like what is in store for you.
8. You rock my world, Happy Birthday!
9. If I could exchange all those moments I spent with you for a tonne of gold, I would. Buying you presents with that gold would make these days even better.
10. This is your special day and I hope I can make it better for you. Meet me, I love you.
11. To wish you a Happy Birthday is not the only thing I can do for you. Come home and I’ll show you!
12. With these presents come my wishes for you to be successful in everything you do.
13. >For my girl, who helped me define my life, your birthday is an exclusive day for me to let you know that I love you.
14. Happy birthday, sweetheart. I hope we stay together, forever!
15. Your birthday calls for special words but nothing new can compete with the traditional ‘I love you.’
16. You and I may be far apart, but my wishes are with you on your birthday.
17. The distance between us grows but so does our love for each other. Happy Birthday.
18. To see you happy on your birthday is all I desire. I hope you get whatever you wish for.
19. With each gift that you open today, I hope your happiness multiplies. May you get success in all you do.br />I want to wish you Happy Birthday in a special way. You and I should be together.
20. I hope you know I cherish you and out times together. There is no better day to let you know than on your birthday.
21. May your birthday be filled with love laughter and happiness. God bless you on this special day.
22. You may be older than yesterday, but you’re younger than tomorrow. Happy birthday.
23. While many people may be thinking of you on your birthday, I want you to know I’m first on that list!
24. To wish you success is all I desire. I hope you have a blast on your birthday and cherish it forever!
25. You deserve a happy day and what better day than your birthday? Celebrate like there is no tomorrow.
26. You may be working on your special day, but your night will be as hectic as your day. Be ready for celebrations tonight.
27. Here’s wishing you a prosperous, bright, fun-filled birthday.
28. It takes two to create magic. I hope you and your birthday cake have a great time together. Loves.
29. I wish you miles of smiles for this year and for others to come on your birthday.
30. If on your birthday, I could make your dreams come true, I would. But for now, I’ll make mine true by being with you!
31. To wish for you a day that is filled with joy and success is the least I can do, for someone as special as you.
32. You may not want presents this year, but I can’t lose this opportunity to give you my heart and say I love you.
33. If I could give you the world, I would. But make do with these presents for now; everything else is on its way.
34. A birthday full of surprises was what I planned for you. With every year it’s going to get better.
35. I hope you get all that you desire on this day, you deserve all the happiness in the world.
36. My love for you grows with each day. Have a great day today, happy birthday.
37. You may be older by a year today, but you are as beautiful as you were yesterday.
38. This day has a lot in store for you. Keep a lookout for your surprises!
39. May your day overflow with excitement, success and happiness.
40. Your best years lie ahead of you. Make the most of today and tomorrow. Have a great birthday.
41. Hoping that your birthday is as awesome as you are!
42. The heavens cried the day you were born, they still do on losing an angel like you.
43. Your birthday epitomizes you.
44. Gift are many but so are the wishes, have a wonderful day.
45. I may not be able to give you a gift, but I will gift you my wishes.
46. On this special day, I raise a toast to you and your life.
47. Birthdays are incomplete without wishes and mine come to you today for a long life and successful career!
48. May your birthday remind you of yesterday’s stories, today’s fortune and tomorrow’s dreams.

These messages are sure to get a smile on your girlfriend’s face. Use them to create magic!

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Here's a selection of what I think are some of the best Christmas quotes. I hope you like them too!
Obviously "best" is a matter of personal preference, but maybe you'll have similar taste to me. Personally, I like quotes that are funny or give you the warm fuzzies, but are not overbearingly sentimental.

What are your favourite Christmas quotes? If you have one that you think deserves to be a place in my list of the "World's Best Christmas Quotes", then let me know!

When I made this list, I had Christmas card writing in mind. So, most of the quotes are perfect as Christmas card quotes that you can write alongside your personalmessage in your Christmas cards.

Funny Christmas Quotes

I hope that these funny Christmas sayings and humorous Christmas quotes bring a smile to your face like they did to mine!

By the way, I've deliberately left out quotes that I found too cynical. There are some very funny Christmas card sayings out there that on second thoughts reveal a dim view of human nature. Funny as they might be, they didn't make it onto my best Christmas quotes list. You might call this the optimists-only list :-)

Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.
~Larry Wilde

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.
~Kin Hubbard

Christmas is a time when you get homesick - even when you're home.
~Carol Nelson

Do give books - religious or otherwise - for Christmas. They're never fattening, seldom sinful, and permanently personal."
~Lenore Hershey

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
~Anon

When we were children we were grateful to those who filled our stockings at Christmas time. Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs?
~G.K. Chesterton

Heartwarming/Cute Best Christmas Quotes

My favourite cute Christmas quotes to make you feel warm inside :-) Mostly they're short enough to work well as Christmas card quotes.

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.
~Burton Hillis

Perhaps the best Yuletide decoration is being wreathed in smiles.
~Anon

From home to home, and heart to heart, from one place to another. The warmth and joy of Christmas, brings us closer to each other.
~Emily Matthews

Probably the reason we all go so haywire at Christmas time with the endless unrestrained and often silly buying of gifts is that we don't quite know how to put our love into words.
~Harlan Miller

When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things - not the great occasions - give off the greatest glow of happiness."
~Bob Hope

May the spirit of Christmas bring you peace,The gladness of Christmas give you hope,The warmth of Christmas grant you love.
~Anon

Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect."
~Oren Arnold

To the American People: Christmas is not a time or a season but a state of mind. To cherish peace and good will, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas. If we think on these things, there will be born in us a Savior and over us will shine a star sending its gleam of hope to the world."
~Calvin Coolidge (1872-1933), American president. Presidential message (December 25, 1927)

Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas."
~Peg Bracken

May Peace be your gift at Christmas and your blessing all year through!
~Anon

Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts.
~Janice Maeditere

Heap on the wood!-the wind is chill;
But let it whistle as it will,
We'll keep our Christmas merry still.
~Sir Walter Scott

I love the Christmas-tide, and yet,
I notice this, each year I live;
I always like the gifts I get,
But how I love the gifts I give!
~Carolyn Wells

A Christmas candle is a lovely thing;It makes no noise at all,But softly gives itself away;While quite unselfish, it grows small. ~Eva K. Logue

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